The video paused and
No matter where you pause it, it always looks like he’s saying some phrase involving the word “FUCK”.
the year is 2066. physical contact has been outlawed. hug dealers tenderly embrace people in the dead of night and shady people hold hands in dark streets
i want to read this novel
I want to write this novel.
I want to edit this novel.
Sounds like we have a plan.I want to produce the movie
I’m directing the porn parody
I’m buying the porn parody
Yesterday a guy came up to me at work was like “How are you ever going to get a job with all those piercings?”
I’ll say that again.
A guy came up to me
at work
and asked “How are you ever going to get a job with all those piercings?”
X
*Mom hands me phone to answer*
- Me: Hello?
- Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
- Me: I have no mother.
- Her: Well can I speak to your father?
- Me: Yeah, which one?
- Her: Which one is home?
- Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
- Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
- Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
- Her: So who's Antonio?
- Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
- Her: So Carlos was cheating?
- Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
- Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
- Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
- Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
- Me: I never said that.
- Her: Yes, yes you did!
- Me: No I didn't.
- Her: Y-yes! You did!
- Me: Did what?
- Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
So when there is a warrant for my arrest and I need to escape from highspeed chase.
(Source: onlylolgifs)
people who study poop are called scatologists but i think they should be called turd nerds
(Source: snooki-archive)
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I’m not even sure how i found this song but i am in love with it X)
I die a little on the inside every time i look at “The Rising” by Kelly Armstrong
